What do you do when you feel like your creative abilities are being blocked by something bigger than yourself? I haven’t written on here in over a month…
The long and short of it is….I seem to be going through a bit of a funk! I feel an incredible sense of guilt saying that because not only do I have so much to be thankful for but I feel like I’ve been told my whole life that as a Christian, I am supposed to have unwavering faith. Sometimes I sit here and think, “Well what’s wrong with me that my faith wavers?”
The truth is, I know, that I am not perfect and therefore my faith is somewhat imperfect even though it’s in a perfect God. The beautiful part of about having a relationship with Jesus is…I guess I don’t have to be perfect. He loves me. He forgives me. I try really hard not to take advantage of that with confusing my “funk” with laziness or getting lost in the daily grind and not making time for God. That last part is so easy to do in todays world!
The frustrating part for me right now is that my faith isn’t wavering in God. I know He is real. I know He is sovereign. I know He is my Lord and Savior.
Yet knowing all of that, it just feels like I’m being blocked by something in an attempt to reach Him. I can’t sort out what it is or why it’s happening or even if I’m doing something to cause it. Or if it’s simply that I feel absolute sheer exhaustion and I can’t bring myself to try harder. An important reminder I suppose is that feelings are not facts and that regardless of what I’m feeling, it doesn’t change who God is.
His love never wavers.
And so I pray….
I pray for steady faith. One that can hold a tight grip through hard times. I ask for Your forgiveness for my faults and through my times of weakness. I am so incredibly thankful that You continue to show up for me. Thank You for being such a loving, forgiving God. Continue to give me strength Lord. I ask all of this through the precious and mighty name of Jesus Christ.